A&O Ball Mosh Pit 90% Swaying, 10% Frat Boys Itching To Punch A Woman
“If I get arrested one more time, my parents are gonna cut my allowance to only 5k a month.”
“They Cut Me Out, And Now It’s Time To Pay,” Cackles A Third Johnson In New Blackmail Video
“Because of my unbeatable toe fungus, I was the one voted out of the company.”
Breaking: Ben Auby Attains Scheming Eunuch Status After Second Year as Flipside VP
Amidst the chaos, and amidst the accession of new president Kyra Lesmerises, the club’s real seat of power–Flipside Vice President and chief eunuch Benjamin Auby–went largely unnoticed.
Will Smith Slapped Chris Rock?????
Erm… did that just happen? I genuinely can’t believe that just happened. I’ve been watching the Oscars livestream on Internet Explorer, so it’s been buffering a little bit. It’s just really crazy that he would opt to do such a thing live on television, and on the biggest night in Hollywood no less… Millions of Americans were watching. Chris Rock could have been seriously hurt or even killed. Oh my God, we need to do something about this. How am
Ask Flippy: I Saw My Parents Watching “Fifty Shades of Grey” When I Was 9, Does That Explain Why I Am This Way?
Then, I started to remember another incident. The incident. You see, when I was 9 walked into the living room and saw my parents watching Fifty Shades of Grey on the TV. It was the ice cube scene. Right before what I now know is called some “hot fucking shit”.
From a universe where nothing ever goes wrong: I have a mouth, but I don’t need to scream :)
Well golly-gee-good-morning, world! My name is John J. Johnson, and I have the best life ever!
Tostitos Announced New “Hint of Chips” Lime
“We’re always striving for better here,” explains a Tostitos representative. “Everyone’s been telling us for years that we struck gold with those chips, and we figured what people were looking for next was a lime experience really uninterrupted by the strong notes of chip that defined our previous products.”
Somebody Put Ben Down He’s Drunk On Star Power
Everybody’s seen somebody go on a power trip before. Police officers when they pull over people, that kid that was supposed to watch over the class while the teacher went out to go use the bathroom, Joseph Stalin, just to name a few. But never before has a power trip been as dangerous as this one, never before has one rush of authority to somebody’s head been as dangerous as this. For God’s sake, somebody put Ben down, he’s drunk
Op-Ed: You driving while having a “baby on board” has nothing to do with me
The other day when I was driving and intently studying the bumper stickers on the car in front of me, I saw my least favorite sticker of all time.
Innovation: Student Starts Ripping 20 GoGo Squeezes a Day to Curb Vaping Addiction
He slurped up a long, skinny semi-gelatinous tube of unsweetened, organic applesauce and felt a head rush like nothing he had ever experienced before.
Op-Ed: Scuba Diving is WAY More Exciting than Becoming a Father
his little, wet, salamander-colored life-form, by his own existence, took from me my passion. My wife made me get rid of the scuba gear, you see; she didn’t want me to “get some awful fucking decompression sickness and have [my] guts pop out through [my] eye sockets” and leave her with our son, William, all alone. William, more like, Will-I-Ever-Be-Free-Again?
Funnel Cake, Projectile Vomit, Mysteriously Damp Stuffed Animal and Other Carnival-Themed Outfit Ideas for Dillo 53
We’ve got some great ideas for sexy and hot festival outfits that are perfectly on theme.