by xtrasooperdood

GUYS! You guys! You won’t believe it! C’mon!

Okay, you guys are NOT. Fuckin’. Gonna. Believe it. Last night my parents made me watch a movie with them; it was some fuckin’ black and white movie. Gay shit, amirite? Yeah, I know! But listen, this movie had more tits than you could shake your dick at – NO, DAN, I’M NOT FUCKING LYING!

No, I don’t know what it was about – I was on AIM the whole time and only looked up when I heard gunshots or saw boobs in the corner of my eye, but let me just say, this must be one fuckin’ awesome movie – I have NEVER seen that many tits in my life – FUCK YOU DAN YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THAT MANY TITS EITHER! And there was SOOO much blood! And it had that guy from Star Wars: Episode 1, but he was a whiny little bitch and didn’t kill anyone.

It’s called Schindler’s List, and lemme tell you guys, it’s long as fuck. I walked out after like three hours, but don’t worry, I saw all the good parts. ALL the good parts. But you know, now that I think about it, there may have been a few dicks in there, too – NO DAN THAT DOESN’T FUCKING MAKE ME GAY! I’M NOT THE ONE WHO LISTENS TO FUCKING NICKELBACK!

Oh, your parents made you watch The Godfather? Dude, that fuckin’ sucks! Nah, believe me, my parents made me watch it like a month ago – there’s only like 2 pairs of tits the whole time! And the blood is SOOO fake! Aw, you know what, fuck this – just go home and Google the good bits; there’s no other reason to watch this piece of shit. You guys feel like watching something later? How ‘bout Jackass: The Movie? Best fuckin’ film of all time.