This week, while Harvard put out a statement saying that it would not acquiesce to Trump’s demands, Northwestern took a more Victorian approach:  it may not necessarily bow down to Trump’s demands, but it may dabble in a little curtsy. Now, you may be asking, what does that mean? So we, Flipside News Network, have decided to bring in a few experts to explain just what “little curtsy” means in economic verbiage.

Moveen Round, professor of Victorian Interpretive Dance at the Haus of Musik University:

A little curtsy, as opposed to a big curtsy, is, simply stated, little. It involves a folding of the knees, and perhaps one’s will and moral backbone, to please a typically male suitor such as Donald Trump. Though it doesn’t evoke the more religious connotations involved in bowing, it evokes something a bit more demure. Perhaps it instills the sense that you’re salaciously revealing your ankle knowing that when you reach the ripe legal age of 14, you will marry this man. Though you may not be bowing down, like a little harlot, you are admitting your complete submission. But, fret not, only the chambermaids will gossip about your licentious behavior.

Hayalp Meet, an actual Victorian child:

Curtsy, sir, curtsy? Please, sir, I cannot curtsy. I have consumption. I am ailing. My knees do not work, sir. Please take pity on me and give me food.

Jen Der, professional interpretive dancer:

Well, to be honest, I’ve never done a little curtsy. I’m a big curtsy type of girl if you know what I mean. I like to sweep my arms high and my knees even lower. Flo Rida wrote the song “Low” about me…don’t ask for verification. But, if I were to define a little curtsy, I would say it’s a lame dance move for bitches with weak knees.

Barack Obama:

Uuuuhhhh, let me be clear. (We were unable to catch Obama’s response as he simply disappeared.)