Everybody’s seen somebody go on a power trip before. Police officers when they pull over people, that kid that was supposed to watch over the class while the teacher went out to go use the bathroom, Joseph Stalin, just to name a few. But never before has a power trip been as dangerous as this one, never before has one rush of authority to somebody’s head been as dangerous as this. For God’s sake, somebody put Ben down, he’s drunk on star power.

Benjamin Auby, Vice President and self-declared Imperator-for-Life of Flipside after stripping Zoe of the aux, has had more power go to his head than a 20-year-old police officer realizing he’s going to finally get to use his service weapon. From what, you may ask? The star. The goddamn star emoji.

This single little star made of pixels representing the power to write, has made a monster out of the man formerly known as Ben. He now views his star as his own personal blessing as though he were the conduit through which God is speaking, like a prophet, or that homeless on the street that seems like he knows a thing or two because he’s seen a thing a two.

But lately, his conniving and lusting for power has known no bounds. Already, he has set his eyes on the most powerful position any self-declared President of a doubtlessly well-circulated satirical news site can aspire to—being X (formerly known as Twitter) famous.

He has to be stopped; he can’t keep getting away with this. It’s up to everybody to stop him. It could be a strongly worded statement of condemnation on your Instagram story, or it could be running for exec (run for exec!), and if it comes to it, we could always just go all Julius Caesar on him. Either way, if he’s not stopped now, there won’t be a future of college satire worth saving.

Watch your back, tyrant, the Ides of March are coming.