In a shocking turn of events this past weekend, former presidential candidate and member of the Guinness Book of World Records “Most Killable” family, RFK Jr., has admitted to being the starting force behind Hurricane Milton.

The admission of guilt came during an interview with Martha Stewart on her new podcast, “Felonies and Foie Gras.” After answering a question about proper stirring technique, Kennedy blurted out, “speaking of stirring in a circle, I started that Hurricane in the Gulf. The one those government dorks gave the nerdy ass name.”

Damages from Hurricane Milton have been estimated to surpass the $10 billion mark. “Would this make you liable?” Stewart asked Mr. Kennedy.

“Well, I wasn’t held liable for Katrina back in ‘05, and that one was wildly more successful and had a much more fuckable name,” RFK Jr. responded. This was in reference to the catastrophic Hurricane Katrina, which killed more than 1,000 people and caused $160 billion in damages to Louisiana and Mississippi in 2005.

What caused Mr. Kennedy to admit to his role in the catastrophes is unclear; more unclear still are the reasons why. He clarified that it was a coverup for the boatload of endangered dolphin meat he found while sailing through the Caribbean. “Don’t worry, they were already dead when I shot them in the head and hauled their carcasses on deck.”