The opening weekend of “Joker: Folie à Deux” proved disastrous for DC Studios, as critics across the board were disappointed with the movie, especially its similarity to a full-blown musical. One outspoken dissident, I.P. Freely, voiced his concern at what he thought was the most glaring mistake – the size of Joker’s bulge.

“In a word, terrible. The comics clearly show that the Joker is a man of girth, not length. They totally have both aspects wrong in this movie.” When questioned about the claims of bad directing, an irate Mr. Freely responded, “What the hell do I care about that? If the elephant in the room, or rather the pecker, had been addressed properly, all other facets would not have mattered. All real comic scholars know this.” Upon being asked, Mr. Freely clarified that “real comic scholars” spend at least 3 hours a day cross-referencing the three Bs of comics: “bulge, boobs, and butt.”

“On that note,” Mr. Freely continued, “I must admit the depiction of Harley Quinn, especially the breast to waist ratio, was done perfectly. I had a hard-on the whole film!”

What’s next for the reeling movie studio? Sources indicate a director’s cut of the film could be released as soon as January of next year. But scholars are not convinced. When asked about the possible rerelease, Mr. Freely stated, “If by directors cut they mean Joker would be circumcised now, then by all means. Otherwise, I won’t waste my time.”