Beloved Flippy,

I’m reaching out this week because I’ve had a concerning thought cross my mind: am I gay quiz? Quiz google am I gay quiz because concerned gay I am. The other day, I watched The Bachelorette and dreamy Dan dreamy want bad. Gay? Worried these thoughts carnal are too carnal and strange, and my wife is worried gay too. Is it so wrong to crave the taste of another man, to watch the water run down his chiseled abs and past his taut glutes, drawing lines I dream deeply of running my tongue over? What horrible place is this, that I might be scorned and shamed for the lust I feel; a lust more natural than any I’ve felt before, which burns my soul and lights my heart aflame?

In summary, Am I Gay Quiz?

Yours truly,

Questioning Quarl

Dear Quarl,

Sexuality is a spectrum, and you shouldn’t let others — your wife or anyone else — define how you self-identify. Humans tend to put a significant amount of emphasis on labeling themselves and each other: but isn’t it alright to just be who you are? Why fear the words they shall shame you with, if you know yourself to be true — to be just, to be righteous, in your overwhelming love for this Dreamy Dan? Do not go gentle into the good night: rage! Rage, and preach for all to hear that you are here, loud, and proud!

That said, no need for a quiz, you’re gayer than a dreidel on Hanukkah.

Happy pride,

Flippy