In an unprecedented event taking the country by storm, three Daisycrats have been suspended from the Mickey House Clubhouse by Scroogepublicans due to their participation in anti-Mouseketool protests.

Despite ongoing outrage by many Americans that Mouseketools are too easily accessible and too frequently used, Scroogepublicans seem certain that more of them — on the streets, in schools, and in homes — are the solution to the problem.

“It’s not fair to think that taking away people’s rights to a Mouseketool is justified,” Scroogepublican Speaker of the House Cameron Pete said. “I mean, sure, they’ve led to the deaths of thousands upon thousands of both children and adults. But what’s that in comparison to sweet, sweet Benjamins lining my pockets? Those uppity Daisycrats should learn some respect for our fine governing body — and the financial benefactors whose gracious hand controls all policy.” 

Speaker Pete, previously a critic of Mouseketools after his niece was hit over the head with one by a six-year-old who thought she “should go to Jupiter instead of him”, kept his dick firmly in his hand while licking the head-and-ears shape of a recently gifted Mouseketool.

The Daisycrats hold a minority in the Clubhouse against a Scroogepublican supermajority. One of the ejected representatives, Clarabelle Cow, shared her thoughts shortly after her suspension.

“I mean … are we all watching the same shit here?” Ms. Cow asked. “You watch this pack of literal predators remove two of the only ducks from this Clubhouse and still give them the benefit of the doubt?”

Representative Cow additionally noted how “flaunting the singular duck in your party doesn’t make you exempt from reason” and that the policies enacted are clearly the result of corporations’ lobbyists “shoving their fists so far up the respectable gentleman’s rectum that [we] can see the fingers popping out of his mouth.” 

The Flipside verified the presence of said fingers in Speaker Pete’s mouth.