Okay hear me out. Yes I own a Canada Goose jacket. I am in theory involved with several philanthropic clubs because I am a good person. And I do like to hammock on the lakefill because I’m quirky and outdoorsy. But I’m not like most girls; my mom had a C-section.

While all the other babies popped out like a scooby-doo push pop, I was all turned around and got myself stuck. Oopsy! But hey, I’ve always liked a challenge. I took advantage of my extra time in the womb to engage in deep reflection, and that’s why I’ve always been such a critical thinker.

Did my mom or I panic when I was stuck? No, we always stay calm under pressure. When they lifted me out of that incision in my mom’s abdomen, I came out alert and attentive. Vaginal delivery- so middle-ages. Since I didn’t see my mom’s vaginal canal, I do see the world in a different perspective, and I think that’s why I’m so unique.