By Meghan Gresk

EVANSTON—On November 10th, after a full life of 20 years, beloved television lemur Zoboomafoo passed away from kidney failure. In the wake of his death, students have been grappling with a host of powerful emotions, as well as contemplating the fate of other iconic animals from their childhood.

“I read this article that said his real name was Jovian,” said sophomore Ian Smith. “I feel like I’ve been lied to all these years. What next, is Clifford’s real name Elmer? Is he really a small blue cat? Like what the fuck?”

Freshman Jim Barnes said, “What about that dog who could play every single sport ever invented? Is he still alive?”

Editor’s Note: the original Buddy actor from Air Bud died in 1998, meaning that the third, fourth, and fifth installments of the Air Bud saga all starred an impostor, or multiple for all we know. He also played Comet on Full House. The lies just never end.

Senior Peter Griffiths said, “It’s about time someone started showing some concern for animals in film and television besides dogs. I mean, I’m worried about my favorite animals too. Beethoven, that dog in Annie, that dog in The Artist, that dog in… Oh, who am I kidding, puppies are the best. That’s why I’m treasurer of the Happiness Club.”

“I just hope Willie the Wildcat isn’t next,” said an anonymous sophomore, a.k.a. that guy who takes selfies with Willie at every sporting event imaginable, and is the only person who doesn’t laugh at the mention of bestiality in conversation .

Though many have been affected by the loss of everyone’s favorite Coquerel’s sifaka, others have been less than moved. “What even is a lemur?” asked freshman Alexis Gates. “Are they extinct now or something? I don’t get it.” Junior Sam Payton displayed similar confusion. “Wasn’t Zoboo actually a lemur puppet like 50% of the time?” he asked. “I grew up watching Spongebob and Fairly Oddparents. I didn’t even know real animals existed until I was twelve years old, and I still prefer the cartoon ones.”