SOUTH FRAT QUAD — New members of Greek organizations Tappa Tappa Keg and Delta Delta Delta Delta attended their first mixer Saturday.

Delighted to talk to members of the opposite sex for the first time in over a week, Quad Delt’s new pledge class was extremely eager to get to know the true gentlemen of TTK in addition to their “AMΔΔΔΔZING” sisters, one of whom may or may not be named Sharon.¹

“It’s so great to finally go out and do all of the things that I was expressly forbidden from talking about during recruitment but were the sole reasons I joined my sorority,” Quad Delt freshman Kelly Stone said.

After cramming onto the 10:34 shuttle with the rest of the Panhellenic community, Quad Delt went to TTK’s house² for a Wear Less Clothing³ themed pregame.

The night kicked off with the girls pretending to understand the rules of slap cup while inevitably passing the cup to the wrong person on four consecutive occasions. After becoming sufficiently beer-soaked, the attendees had a sweaty dance party to hits including “Timber,” “Wrecking Ball,” and then “Timber” again.

Other highlights of the night included TTK junior Dave Walberg and Quad Delt Lucy Goldstein hooking up for the sixth time since coming back from break, but it is still “definitely not a thing.”

¹ Possibly Sarah, or, chances are, Emily.
² Also formerly known as belonging to Beta Delta Xi, which was then leasing it from Phi Kappa Delta, which bought it from Rho Tau Sigma after the tragic Lake Michigan Hazing Incident of 1973.
³ Originally planned as a Wear Tighter Clothing themed pregame.