Editor’s note: This article was written by an actual drunk student, and, as such, has been left completely unedited.

itss been too long since we’ve published a drink article, (auto-correct) dillo day for reals, typing on my phone. More later.

Aaaand some chick is throwing up in the byshes pre 11am. Classsss. Some lady just asked me of I could see her flask. I couldn’t. We’re friends now. I forgot to tell you Chet haze grabbed my friends butt true story bro. Gah that bald guy scaed me. Rain delay Wahhaaa

Take me with you on your go Katy I want to go to theree. I can’t walk anymore it’s too mych. RACCOON WHAT THE TITS. go inside it’s daytime you idiot.

Rainnn delayyyy so mucxht rain. Top if the shit. Yelp wearing all black,  “do I look like an evil soccer team?” Looks like police officers? Nope just so CRT She wa in one room than another it was ammmmmazing Melvin’s square, wait, pascals square, wait that’s a tringle, nope punned square. I feel like Theresa a baby hugging my insides #hennesy

For reals just took hennesy shots with Chet haxzeeee, we won dillo guys ifta fine. Try and jump without pointing your toes. Just try Skipping is illegal is Evanston but we did it Xome at ME BROOO!! Breaking news; some dude got escorted out. Dilloo-ing hard fa sho

Mud, err where.

Thus concludes my dillo day adventure, may you all have had a most blessed dillo. To all a goodnight.

Signed, cordially
Floppy