By Foley Hartmann

When I heard about Social Justice Week, I knew I had to make a difference! There is so much social injustice happening on campus: I see awkward, sad kids without friends all the time.

So, first thing, I scooted over to Tech and invited all the computer science majors to an off-campus party. It’s time they got some equality in the social scene on this fine campus. But I only invited the McCormick comp-sci majors. I’m almost positive I’ve seen the Weinberg ones outside of Tech before; they can handle themselves.

Second, I went to Urban, bought some jeans, and gave them to the athletes. They too have the right to look like adults and not large homeless people. Athletes face institutional disadvantages on this campus, and somebody has to rectify it.

Third, I sat in on an ASG meeting just to let them know somebody cared. When they found out I wasn’t a reporter, they broke down and cried, saying this was the most significant social justice achievement ASG has ever been a part of.

So, Northwestern students, it’s time for you to step up. Get involved in social justice. Help Medill throw a party like Kellogg does. Let the homeless people from Lodge or SigEp stay at your place for a night so they don’t have to sleep at the Deuce again. Reach out and say hi to the unwashed kid in your history class. After we do these things, I think we will have solved all of the social justice problems faced at NU once and for all.

Go ‘Cats!