EVANSTON – Newly elected representatives of Allison’s Hall Government have vowed to eliminate the dorm’s dastardly culture of constant intoxicated debauchery. Social Chair Cam Speller stated, “Residents were tired of the way Allison was, two people drunkenly stumbling down a hallway at midnight, occasional noise past 10 PM… I ran on the promise to change that.”

Residents agreed; Weinberg freshman Max Turning of the second floor commented, “We thought that having strict CSOs would solve this problem; unfortunately, Allison is just too social. Whenever there are more than two people in the lounge, it becomes a huge deal.”

McCormick sophomore John Xiao lamented, “I lived in Bobb last year and moved here because I heard that Allison was a great place to get work done. I was so disappointed to find that occasional hallway conversations still distract me from my problem sets on Saturday nights.”

Allison was designed to be not just like a hotel aesthetically, but socially as well. Weinberg Freshman Julia Cameron said, “I liked the idea of Allison because I heard the doors were impossible to prop open. I didn’t know I’d have to deal with running into people in the bathroom in the morning. It’s too much interaction for me to handle; personally, I’d rather live in NMQ.”