CHICAGO – Workers Tuesday were painting a large mural on the side wall of a new apartment complex when a sudden gust of wind knocked a bucket of silver paint onto area mute man Nick Campbell, who was taking a casual afternoon stroll. The blinding mixture caused him to stumble into a large Plexiglas box, which promptly locked behind him. Campbell silently attempted to call for help and pushed his hands against all sides of the box in hopes of escape. However, due to Campbell’s muteness and the translucent nature of Plexiglas, passersby failed to notice the entrapment and mistook Campbell’s struggle for an amusing street performance.

“Hey look, a mime!” bystander Kevin Graham exclaimed with the moderate level of enthusiasm appropriate for seeing a street performer. “I love it when they do that thing where they pretend they’re trapped in a box!” Onlookers watched as Campbell desperately climbed a Plexiglas ladder and tugged on a Plexiglas rope, his mute quest for freedom misconstrued as animated silent acting. At the two-hour mark, the compressed air inside the box began to react with the Plexiglas and formed tornado-like conditions, forcing Campbell to flailingly struggle against the wind to avoid being smashed into the wall.

After five hours of entrapment, Campbell’s oxygen supply inside the box diminished, and he crumpled to the ground, his limbs twitching from asphyxiation. An astonished silence overcame the crowd, followed by an eruption of laughter and applause. The deceased made only $12.37 in tips.