RACHEL BERRY: Freezing federal funds? Pardoning rioters? Detention center in Guantanamo? Donald Trump has gone too far this time. I can’t afford to be scared anymore. I won’t just stand by as the president destroys the nation we know and love. We’re going to fight back in the only way we know how: the power of music.

[CUT to moments before the curtain lifts]

MAGA Congressman: We’re shutting this place down. You don’t have a permit for this show, and there are too many minorities. I will bomb the auditorium.

A VOICE: Not quite.

[Camera swivels up to reveal the unmistakable silhouette of AOC backlit in the sound booth.]

AOC: Our permit is the First Amendment. Hit it, boys.

[Camera sweeps across the crowd of cheering onlookers. Montage ensues.]

A drag queen dressed as Ruth Bader-Ginsburg performs “Fight Song” by Rachel Platten with a choir of small, racially ambiguous children.

A tap crew in “Tax the Rich” leotards stomps out the Morse code for DEI.

The crowd roars. Someone has castrated the congressman admist the confusion. The sheer power of their friendship has dismantled the Electoral College. As the credits roll, uterus-shaped fireworks detonate.