Dearest Father Flippy,

In these dire times, I come to you with news of great gravity, the explosion of a Cybertruck outside of the Trump Hotel which I have come to discover was caused by AJ and Big Justice of Tiktok. I have been following these men for months, trusting them to use their big booms to fend off international enemies and bolster the American security establishment. I feel as Brutus did that fateful day when Caesar wore white to Brutus’ wedding, knowing that he wasn’t the bride. Backstabber. Et tu, AJ and Big Justice? Father Flippy, I must ask you this: why did AJ and Big Justice give five big booms to that car? Why did they destroy something so pure, so innocent, so beautifully geometric and optimally functional?

Sincerely,

Watsonius Marblen

Dear Son,

I will give you the truth and nothing but the truth. AJ, or Andrew Befumo Jr., and his son Eric Justice are pawns for a major illuminot-e operation. And the cybertruck was the perfect symbol for them to start their revolution. Let’s spell Tesla, shall we? T, like the T in Justice, the 4th letter in the name, corresponding to the four elements: earth, wind, air, fire. Coincidence? Think again. E, the first letter in the number eight. Who was born on April 8th? Big Justice. S, the third letter in Costco, their favorite store, but also the first letter of the word snake. Biblically, the snake represents humanity’s pathway to sin, convincing Eve to eat the apple in the Garden of Eden, or, as I like to call it, Garden of Eric Justice. L, the most important letter in Florida, the state which AJ and Big Justice “coincidentally” reside in. And yet, this letter also represents loss and Lost, the tv show which ran for six seasons, an obvious satanic reference to 666. Finally, we come to A, the first letter in AJ’s daughter’s name, Ashley. Take away the ley, you are left with just ash, which comes after a fire, or perhaps a bombing. So, what are we left with? A transformation to the new world order, a Nero-like burning of the old Rome and building of a new satanic empire. Their plan is ready for action. Be prepared or die in oblivion.

See you in hell,

Flippy