Wood frame, metal blade, disgruntled French hangman. Back in the days of the French Revolution, these were the three things you needed to kill someone, all compiled into one machine: the guillotine. But the extinction of the guillotine isn’t just about the advancement of weaponry; it is clearly indicative of a more serious problem in society: people these days don’t support blue-collar jobs, and so we need to bring back the guillotine.

In the time of the guillotine, killing someone was a Herculean task, requiring at least a carpenter to construct your wooden frame, a steel welder to mold your blade, and construction workers to set up the platform for viewing. All of these jobs were well-respected and well-compensated because they were an essential part of society. The French couldn’t last a day without a decapitation and subsequent jubilation.

But, today, because so many people now go to college instead of trade school, we have placed white-collar jobs on a pedestal. As a society, we respect former frat bros turned vest-wearing coke-snorting finance bros more than plumbers, electricians, or mechanics. While Travis is out piling up restraining orders and occasionally clacking on his computer, a blue-collar worker is doing God’s work by making sure your fat shit doesn’t create an eternal clog.

However, if we just brought back the guillotine, we would finally embrace blue-collar jobs. We’d need them to maintain a healthy relationship between the state and the people, preserving the social contract John Locke proposed. If we brought back guillotines, it would be like having a new New Deal, boosting our economy on the backs of respectable, hard-working tradespeople. So, if you want our nation to respect workers and chop heads and costs, you should embrace the old and subscribe to the new way, guillotinomics.