Hidden under your covers at the ripe age of 15, you open a private browser. Into it, you type: “Am I Gay?”. Yes. Yes, you are.

If you have to intentionally navigate the internet to click on a quiz from ProProfs or another virus-inducing website, you can already deduce your fate. Maybe your inquiry stemmed from a peer asking a question along the same lines, so it’s probably based on your previous actions. Remember, art reflects life. Deep introspection reflects reality.

There’s no shame in being curious. It’s okay to need the internet to affirm that you enjoyed kissing your best friend “as an epic prank.” Chances are, you use random strangers or factually unfounded quizzes to answer some other questions. For example, maybe you’re not sure if an unhealthy obsession with dino nuggets and Victorian children makes you autistic. Perhaps it does. Best to check.

Curiosity never killed any actual cats. It’s a virtue of young minds. Always best to calm your paranoia and fill in the WebMD Symptom Checker before self-administering numerous doses of Pepto-Bismol. You could be dying, so you need to determine the correct course of action. They may also be able to tell if that new rash is an STD.

On the other hand, if you’re asking the internet if you’re “an alcoholic,” “wasting your life,” or “clinically depressed,” it could be time to get help! Then again, being brave enough to ask the tough questions is the first step toward recovery. Maybe u/PenisWizard on Reddit can save you!