While some may have missed the announcement in between Trump’s creation of an “Efficiency Commission” and appointment of a sex criminal to lead the government’s law enforcement agency, the president-elect notably created a “BOOM Department” for bombing his enemies and named AJ & Big Justice as its foremen.

Trump originally met AJ & Big Justice while he was working the McDonald’s drive thru. The father-son pair ordered everything on the menu for one of their viral videos and proceeded to rate each food item as either a “doom” or “BOOM.” Hearing the repetitive BOOMs from AJ & Big Justice deeply inspired Trump and made him realize that the fastest way to destroy the “enemy from within” is to bomb them all on day one, but he needed BOOM experts for the job.

After clocking out of his shift and taking 18 bags of fries to go, Trump approached AJ & Big Justice with the job opportunity. The two immediately agreed, initially shocking fans who were astounded to learn that the two were Trump supporters. But then fans quickly remembered that the beloved “Costco Guys” are from Florida, don’t vet comments thirsting after Big Justice’s underage sister, and refer to the matriarch of their family not by name, but rather as “Mother of Big Justice.”  

Trump is confident that the mere volume of both AJ and Big Justice’s voices and Italian eyelashes is enough to shock his enemies into retreat, but just in case more power is needed, he has given the two access to all the U.S.’s nuclear weapons. Fans can tune into the pair’s TikTok live on January 20th to watch them launch each one and rate the destruction as either a BOOM or doom. Trump has confirmed that if one of the weapons directly hits Nancy Pelosi, it gets an automatic and never-before-seen, SUPERBOOM rating.