I don’t condone violence. I don’t condone breaking traffic rules. But I do condone following honor codes typically used by children. That’s why I know that running over someone with a car is okay, as long as you cross your toes while pushing the gas pedal.

Think about it. The nations in this world have massive allyships, truces, and treaties which they consider sacred. Yet, sometimes these international treaties are broken. Germany broke the Treaty of Versailles in 1936 by reoccupying the Rhineland. Nations may be flaky, but childhood promises are forever. I’m not saying that it would have changed the course of human history, but I am saying that if the Treaty of Versailles had been a pinky promise, Germany never would have reoccupied the Rhineland.

Following a child’s honor system is essential to establishing moral rules in society. Children don’t break promises. When a kid says, “Jinx, buy me a Coke,” you can expect that Coke within a few days even though children have no steady flow of income. On the other hand, if, say, China said they would buy me a Coke, I would instead receive a spy balloon and no fizzy drink. Children take their promises seriously, especially the sacred act of crossing fingers to negate a statement or promised action.

When you run someone over while crossing your toes, you’re not running them over because you nullify the genuine nature of the action. Through the power of child-like promises, the Earth will cave in, creating a small human-shaped vessel in which the pedestrian will go, and your car will not actually have run someone over. This is a simple fact backed by the data of twenty researchers who all happen to wear size three children’s shoes. Since the “Geneva Convention” disallowed using a real human for the test, stuffed monkey Snuffles bravely stepped in. He can attest to this science and the sanctity of children’s honor codes.