As you should already know, Northwestern will be administering a multi-part exam over the course of three hours regarding this summer’s One Book Northwestern book, The Night Watchman by Louise Erdrich, tomorrow morning. Northwestern students should have first started preparing for this crucially important exam months ago, updating their progress in CAESAR for every chapter they read in the novel (progress checks could be found in the section labeled: OF DIRE IMPORTANCE). Are students ready for it?

“I hope I do well. I’ve been studying for three weeks straight. I haven’t slept at all for the past few days. All I do for fun anymore is Louise Erdrich trivia.”

– Joe Smartin, Economics Major

“I’m not sure. I’m just glad I marked it in all three of my calendars — gcal, notion, and my Clue period tracking app — months ago when they told us about the test in the first place. I can’t imagine what would have happened if I had heard about it the night before, maybe from a friend, or an Instagram post. You know that sinking feeling when you know you’ve forgotten something of incredible importance?”

– Clara Cleaver, Math Major

“I’m freaking out. Up until this morning, I thought that the One Book Northwestern was a German book called The Nightwatches of Bonaventura, which is a twisted, comic novel, not about Bonaventura himself but a night watchman called Kreuzgang, a failed poet, actor, and puppeteer who claims to be the offspring of the devil. His perspective is pessimistic yet humorous, offering fascinating insight into the inherent malevolence associated with the human condition. So I did not read The Night Watchman and yes, I am sponsored by The Nightwatches of Bonaventura.”

– Hans Wurst, Dance Major