Woman Sitting On Her Phone Accidentally Finishes To National Alert Buzz
On October 4, 2023, at approximately 1:10 pm, McCormick junior Alicia Baldwin was sitting in class scrolling through thirst traps on YouTube shorts. Jumpscared by some random piss kink video, she quickly shut her phone off and slid it under her, onto her seat.
Then just 10 minutes later, at 1:20 pm, an ungodly buzzing erupted throughout the room. But while everyone else was covering their ears, Baldwin was covering her mouth, trying to hide her cum face and mostly just ending up looking constipated.
“It was kind of like, a buzz at first, and that was fine and just sort of felt a little ticklish, but then it kept going on for a minute and it actually, like, uh,” Baldwin coughed. “Started to build and, well, I think I uh, I tried to stop it but I, um, came.”
Baldwin then tried to defend herself, saying frantically, “I mean, it was right there!”
Flipside approached several of Baldwin’s classmates for comment. SNU junior Alex Johnson, Baldwin’s ex-boyfriend, claimed this was fake news.
“You’re clearly sensationalizing it. A minute? I would literally fuck her for a whole three minutes –” Johnson briefly paused, expecting applause, “– and she didn’t feel a thing! Honestly, the things people will do for a scoop nowadays.”
Baldwin claims this experience has given her new direction in her career.
“Before this, I didn’t really know what I was going to do after I graduated. But now, I know. Imagine, a relatively flat device that just buzzes, that you can like, put down there. Wouldn’t that be awesome? I wanna create that.”
When informed that that device already existed, Baldwin responded, “Shit, where can I buy one?”
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reading this made me want to end it.