There’s no feeling I love more than knowing that a picture I posted on Instagram made someone feel worse about themself. But recently, I’ve had trouble holding onto this feeling as people have started taking a more casual approach to social media. They seem to have stopped caring about the fact that I’m so much better than them.

There’s no need to worry though because I still have the power of my superior opinions — which is why, from now on, I will only be using my Goodreads and Letterboxd accounts as social media.

Everyone knows that people who read are better than those who don’t. Do my Goodreads followers need to know that every time I trudge though another insufferable classic, I must immediately read a smutty rom-com to maintain mental equilibrium? Of course not. All they see is that I gave “Pride and Prejudice” 4.5 stars instead of 5 because I “felt like the theme of familial conflict was underdeveloped.” Visually, I’m way more of a cultured intellectual than anyone I know, which is all that matters to me.

My favorite movies are “Tangled” and “10 Things I Hate About You,” but on Letterboxd, the vibe is more “The Social Network” and “Call Me by Your Name.” It’s important to me that when people stalk me on the internet, they think, “Wow, I bet she really understands the importance of symbolism,” and, “Do you think she actually followed what was going on in ‘Inception,’ because it kind of seems like it?”

Basically, if you want to feel like you’re not smart or deep enough, you should probably check out my Goodreads and Letterboxd. Seriously though, please check them out. I need it.