Yesterday, I posted a job update on LinkedIn like any other self-respecting finance bro would if they also landed an internship as an Investment Banking Analyst at *the* Goldman Sachs this summer.  

I logged back on two hours later after finishing my super intense, maximum bro-level arm day workout at the gym to see how many likes I had gotten. Instead of congratulating me or wishing me well, some internet troll had commented, “Wow, it really doesn’t get more self-congratulatory than this.”

Excuse me, moron who only has 24 LinkedIn followers, but what exactly made my post self-congratulatory? I (well, my rich daddy and his endless connections) worked really hard to land the most competitive internship in the country, and I definitely wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth (we only had gold spoons when I was growing up, so check your assumptions).

Deep down, I know I earned this internship by trading massive amounts of my inheritance on Robinhood every day. The haters gonna hate no matter what. Luckily, nothing can stop me. I’m all the way up. Hope you enjoy living in a cardboard box under the highway, smart ass. I, on the other hand, will continue to work toward my life’s mission of letting my money work for me while I regard Wall Street every day from the massive glass windows in my daddy’s corner office.