Dear Flippy,

Yo so like, I was going through my Letterboxd just like, reminiscing, and I was thinking about how great The Dark Knight is. I mean, Heath Ledger’s just phenomenal…. Haha what’s that? You’ve seen him in 10 Things I Hate About You? Um anyway I was just thinking about The Dark Knight. It’s such a classic and Gary Oldman is so sexy right? I grew a pornstache because of him. Anyway do you remember that part when….what? No wayyy. You haven’t seen The Dark Knight? Nah, nah, it’s whatever, I just thought a cool chick like you would have seen it. Okay well you gotta watch it, haha, um like we could watch it together. If you want. It’s just like I have it on Blu-Ray so like you wouldn’t have to rent it or anything. So like my place, 11pm? I have a TV in my room.

Sincerely,

Mise Enscène

Dear Mr. Enscène,

While I’m sure the view from your bed – excuse me – mattress on the floor is great, I think I’ll have to pass. You seem like a nice guy and all, but I only watch movies with guys who shower regularly. And besides, your Carhartt beanie is looking a little flaccid, and I sure hope the carpet doesn’t match the drapes.

That’s a wrap,

Flippy