After a lengthy, passionate night “going at it Scranton Style” with wife Jill, Joe Biden reflected on his opponent’s current disposition. 

The presidential hopeful told the press Friday morning, “I really feel for Ol’ Donald during his period of isolation. I simply cannot imagine a night without the tunes boppin’, a drink in my hand, and a hot wife to rail, much less two weeks! It’s truly a tragedy of our generation.”

On October 2nd, 2020, President Donald Trump revealed to the public that he and wife Melania had tested positive for COVID-19 along with a slew of other White House staffers. Trump was treated for the virus at Walter Reed Hospital and is currently back in the White House quarantining. 

In latest news, the second Presidential Debate scheduled for October 15th was cancelled after Trump refused to debate over an online format despite possibly still being contagious with the virus.

“It’s a damn shame I won’t get to converse with Ol’ Donald next week,” Biden said. “I guess I’ll just have to spend that night eating a nice steak dinner, perhaps drinking a nice smoky scotch and chilling in the jacuzzi with my hot babe of a wife.”

Biden took to Twitter to send “thoughts and prayers, you fuckin virgins” to the Trump Family for a speedy recovery.