Dear Flippy,

Every weekend I leave my brosboys to go hang out with my soon-to-be-girlfriend-hopefully, Jessica. I buy her dinner and I pay for her nails, and in return she’ll look me in the eyes sometimes and make meI feel like the luckiest man in the world. I even like and retweet all of her tweets, because every girl needs someone to hype them up in their life.

I text her every morning. “Hi beautiful :) <3” and she just says “haha thanks buddy.” Man, I just want to hold her hand so bad. 

But all my boys keep calling me a “simp” for Jessica? They say that Jessica is just using me and I’m just bending over backwards to do everything that she asks for me with nothing in return. I don’t care that in her phone she has me as “Free Food,” — I’m just glad that she thinks I’m important enough to have my number saved. 

But what does “simp” even mean? If it means a man that treats a woman like the beautiful queen-goddess-angel she is, I will gladly accept the label of “simp.” Jessica is just so beautiful and pretty and sexy and gorgeous and wonderful and sexy and hot and —

P.S. She’s so perfect but I just wished she would text me back right away. 

Sincerely,

The Nice Guy Brian

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Dear Brian,

You’re a simp.

Sincerely,

Flippy