Marvel Conspiracy Theorist Convinced Stan Lee Not Dead, Will Return in Next Avengers Movie
Last week, superhero fans everywhere were devastated by the death of Stan Lee, creator of the legendary Marvel universe.
There is one superfan, however, who refuses to accept the accounts of the comic book iconās passing: Marvel conspiracy theorist and part time waiter at the Olive Garden, Kyle Briggle.
The 32-year-old comic book junkie is reportedly convinced that Stan Lee is not dead and will return in the next Marvel film, telling Flipside reporters, āI just donāt buy it.ā
While every major news outlet offers reports that Lee died last Monday, Briggleās bulletin board hanging in the lower-level of his step-momās condo says otherwise.
In this basement-turned-bachelor-pad, Briggleās pictures of various Marvel characters connected by an intricate web of red yarn presents a very different story than the one told by the mainstream media. It is here, amidst piles of comics, Xbox DVDs and empty bags of Funyuns where his sleuthing skills really shine.
When the news of Stan Lee broke, Briggle had already been working on one particular conspiracy about the upcoming Avengers movie. Each day between shifts at the Olive Garden, Briggle heads back to what he calls his āMarvel Man-Caveā where he re-watches old movies from the franchise while scribbling furiously onto multi-colored post-its. So when the news came out last week of Leeās passing, Briggle immediately deduced it couldnāt be true.
āThatās just what they want us to think,ā he said, gesticulating wildly while holding a half-eaten bag of Cheetos in one hand.
āThis is classic Marvel: characters fake their deaths all the time. It’s just like in the first Thor when Loki seemed to die in a black hole but then returned to Asgard in the next movie. Now again in āInfinity Warā it looks like Thanos killed him, but Iām certain heāll be back in āAvengers 4.ā Marvel is clearly doing the same thing with Stan.ā
When Flipside reporters pointed out that Stan Lee is a real human and not a fictional movie character, Briggle dismissed the notion, saying it was ātoo easy.ā
āLook at Captain America,ā Briggle said, glasses askew and hair sticking up in all directions. āHe seemed dead, but was actually just frozen in the ocean for 50 years.ā
Briggle then launched into an animated explanation about how all the Avengers killed by Thanos in āInfinity Warā are actually still alive in an alternate reality.
āAll Iām saying is that Stanās death is too obvious,ā Briggle asserted. āThereās got to be something more, and I have a pretty good inkling as to who may have some answers.ā
At press time Briggle was being issued a restraining order by Jeremy Renner, aka Hawkeye, following Briggleās repeated attempts to scale the fence to Rennerās house.