Racist Grandpa You Had One Conversation With Over Break Still Sending You Fox News Articles
Upon returning home from winter break, Weinberg freshman Mark Brady opened his laptop to an email from his grandfather. Attached to the email was a link to a Fox News article about how Millennials are the world’s least skilled workers. The elder Brady included nothing else in the email.
“At first I was confused, thinking it was a spam email,” Brady said. “But then I saw it was from my grandpa, and I knew I had made a mistake when I mentioned my gender studies class to my family over the holidays.”
Brady concluded that his grandpa had sent him the article for the sole purpose of making him feel bad about being nineteen. “I don’t know what his endgame is here, but it sure didn’t make me miss the riveting dinner table conversation over break.”
Brady further stated that he was looking forward to the new articles he would inevitably receive later, likely including poorly-sourced statistics about minorities and Trump’s fantastic foreign policy agenda.
“I can’t wait to see him again over spring break,” Brady said. “I’m keeping a running tally of the number of times my grandparents mention the Clinton Foundation in casual conversation. I’m excited to reopen my research.”