Grinning from ear to ear, local dealmaker Brian Ashworth, WCAS ’18, was seen counting a large stack of money he made from selling oregano on the corner of Sheridan Road late last night. When asked how he made such an enormous profit from selling the common spice, the junior sporting a plain, dark gray hoodie took off his wayfarer sunglasses and stated, “I can’t go into specific details about my business operations due to the competitiveness of the market. However, I will say that the demand by clueless freshman for small green-colored herbs was significantly higher yesterday than any other day of the year.” Ashworth is currently undecided on what he will major in, but he is aggressively pursuing a minor in the Business Institutions Program. After he ended the interview quickly to “get back to business,” Flipside Reporters witnessed Ashworth hand a Ziploc bag full of oregano to an unknown buyer saying, “This is the finest quality stuff on the market. You will get mad litty in an hour or so.”