Brandon Alvarez tells Flipside that after a long week of psyching himself up, he is ready to ask his Rooming Assistant to the Shepard Formal. Alvarez, a Weinberg freshman in the Class of 2020, has been seen over the past several evenings pacing nervously outside the door of Melissa Milan, his RA. “She’s just really funny and kind. She’s made me feel really welcome, and I want to repay her for all she’s done,” Alvarez gushed.

When questioned by floor mates why he in his right mind would ask her to Formal, Alvarez rested easy, saying, “All the signs are there, it’s clear as day. She keeps writing little notes with my name and sticking them on my door, she sends me emails with all these fun activities we could do on weekends, and she’s always checking up on me about cleaning my room before break. She really shows she cares!” Witnesses say this comment left Alvarez’s floor mates in hysterics and unable to further question their starry-eyed friend.

In the past, Alvarez has been cagey in answering how he plans to ask Milan, but he recently hosted a presser to tell all. “Well, when I first arrived on campus, Melissa, like the radiant sun she is, came right up to me, introduced herself, and told me if I ever had anything break in my room, to submit a SchoolDude application to get it fixed. So I think I’ll submit an application asking a mechanic to knock on her door and ask her for me, in reference to how we met.” Alvarez’s floor mates were too busy snickering to comment.