EVANSTON – Last night, Mayfest announced the last artist that will be performing at this year’s Dillo Day. This release granted students a temporary distraction from the growing awareness of campus sexual assault.

Landon McCaffrey, WCAS ’18, is no exception to the excitement. “I’m so pumped to have Hayden James at Dillo this year!” McCaffrey told reporters. “I was getting pretty bummed about how the vast majority of sexual assault is never reported, but now that I have Hayden James to look forward to, I’m not even bothered by it anymore!”

Dillo Day is an annual concert held in late May where students often drink to the point where they forget that 82% of rape victims personally know their rapists. The concert lineup usually includes 5-6 artists, many of whom are unaware of the alarming number of Title IX violations that Northwestern [mis]handles every year.

Students across campus expressed similar sentiment, subliminally grateful that periodic cryptic hints from Mayfest allow them to escape the reality of rape culture into a world where Dillo Day might not be rained out again.