MELBOURNE BEACH, FL – Lucky Florida resident, Candice Withers, won the Powerball Jackpot this past week, splitting the pot with two other winners, taking home a post-tax amount of over $300 million. Rather than using the winnings in more traditional ways such as donating to charity, investing in the stock market, or bombastically quitting her job to pursue her mid-life crisis dream of buying Rio Rancho Properties in New Mexico, Withers decided to use her winnings in a more “unique” fashion: buying 150 million lottery tickets.

In an interview with The Flipside, Withers said that after “minutes upon minutes” of non-impulsive consideration, she felt that this was the most guaranteed way to continue making money off of her winnings.

“You see,” Withers elaborated, “the way I see it is that if you go to the lottery and buy a single lottery ticket, you don’t have much of a shot at winning. If you really want to win, you have to buy ALL the lottery tickets. That way, you’re guaranteed to never lose, and so I’ll just keep winning over and over again!”

Withers has faced stark opposition over her decision; she, however, is quick to defend herself: “People become gambling addicts because no matter how much they lose, with each new purchase they still believe in their winnings despite the odds being rigged against them. Now, I’m rigging the odds against them!”

Withers is allegedly planning to purchase all 300 million tickets with the same combination of numbers, something that is baffling the media all across the country.