By Emily McKinnon

 

EVANSTON – After the first couple weeks of classes, current SESP freshman Paige Holt is overwhelmed with the amount of homework due. “It’s like, really rough, you know? I don’t even know, like, can’t these professors see that I’m a freshman, and I like, need time to transition?” Ms. Holt answered when questioned about how she liked her professors.

When asked what work she had been assigned, Ms. Holt was reluctant to comment. She claimed that it was “just some readings or whatever” but that she “thought it was super fucked-up” that the professor expected her to read 10 pages in one night. Ms. Holt claims she was prepared for school to be hard, but not this hard.

McCormick sophomore Ben Finch, who has listened to Ms. Holt’s complaints on several occasions, agrees with Ms. Holt. “Yeah, sure, absolutely, she’s had way too much homework.” Mr. Finch said while playing with a lock of Ms. Holt’s hair and stroking her shoulder. “I mean, I guess my freshman year was okay, with learning MATLAB, Orgo, and MENU, but it’s really unfair how hard these teachers are coming down on my baby.”

Ms. Holt, calling from her residence in the sorority quad commented, “I was so ready to be, like, hashtag Nerdwestern. If it continues like this, I’m literally going to die. Or lose all my followers.” Ms. Holt sighs. “And if it comes down to my grades or my online presence… Well, like, I guess I’ll have to transfer to an easy state school, like MIT or something.”