Dear fellow Wildcats,

El Cinco de Mayo (The Fifth of May) is coming up next week, and we’d like take a moment to name specific things that you should not do, but will now definitely do since we have listed them here.

Every year, our campus suffers from some form of culturally offensive activity that isolates many people, sometimes entire communities. Consequently, we must write this letter to caution our friends, peers, and community members to not allow this day — or any other — to become an occasion to have fun at the expense of cultures and traditions we should cherish.

Despite the name of the holiday being in Spanish, El Cinco de Mayo is not widely celebrated throughout Mexico; rather, it is celebrated mostly in the United States. This is done explicitly to confuse ignorant gringos such as, based on the demographics of our school, the majority of you who are reading this email.

In typical El Cinco de Mayo fashion, white people such as yourselves often throw Mexican-themed parties. These parties typically include vulgar and appropriative celebrations of Mexican culture by taking tequila shots, eating tacos, drawing mustaches on your finger and raising your finger to you upper lip during photos (get it? because it looks like you have a real mustache!), and yelling “Cinco de Mayo bitches!” repeatedly.

While this level of cultural appropriation is expected and borderline tolerated, it has come to our attention that many Universidad Northwestern students have tried to counteract the stereotype of tasteless El Cinco de Mayo celebrations by throwing “American-themed” parties. Drinking Skinny Girl White Cranberry Cosmos, putting mayonnaise on everything, and wearing cowboy hats does not commemorate American culture. On the contrary, this offends many and casts our entire community in a poor light.

This email should serve as a reminder to be respectful when wandering around Evanston this upcoming Monday looking for a replacement for the Keg. If you would like to celebrate El Cinco de Mayo or The Fifth of May responsibly, please join us for the Fuego Bonfire at 4 p.m. in which we will burn hockey sticks while listening to Coldplay in order to commemorate the holiday responsibly.

Thank you,

ASG President and Vice President