EVANSTON — Evanston residents are excited for the opening of the new restaurant, Just Yogurt. As the name suggests, the establishment boasts a menu of over sixty different items including yogurt sandwiches, yogurt fried rice, yogurt with yogurt, and yogurlapia (tilapia stuffed with yogurt).

Joseph Shin, owner of Just Yogurt, attested to the quality of the restaurant. “Our products are made on location with organic bacteria that undergo the all-natural process of fermentation. We don’t believe in factory farm bacteria or any of the abusive methods that are practiced by some corporations.”

The restaurant’s humane approach to bacteria is garnering much support from bacterial rights activists. Justin Wharf, a bacterial rights pamphleteer, commented, “Trillions of bacteria are unjustly tortured and slaughtered every day to meet the demands of global consumption. Just Yogurt is a great example of how businesses can practice sustainable bacterial processes and satisfy their customers’ needs.”

Of course, such careful attention to its bacteria garners Just Yogurt higher prices than regular yogurt stores. However, Shin believes that the community would be more than willing to pay to voice their support for bacterial rights, due to its conservation-centered culture.

Shin is confident Just Yogurt will succeed as a restaurant, though he is concerned that he will lose some customers to the restaurant scheduled to open across the street from his, Just MSG.