As everyone knows, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are hosting the Golden Globes again tonight. To help you prepare for this historic twice in a lifetime event, we have compiled a list of things that are terrible in comparison to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s lady bromance.

1. World Peace

Who needs compassion and understanding between disparate societies when you can have Tina Fey and Amy Poehler in breath-taking evening gowns telling jokes to other millionaires?

2. Jesus

Last time I checked, he doesn’t have nearly the comedic timing of Tinamy.

3. Atoms

The only redeeming factor about these tiny bullshit particles is that they are (allegedly) what make up Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.

4. The Wheel

Tina and Amy didn’t invent the wheel, but they could have. And they would have made it a lot more fun.

5. Oxygen

Ever since Tina and Amy became friends, oxygen has been the second greatest bonded pair in the universe.

6. The Internet

Ok, so we do actually need the Internet. How else would we watch clips from the Golden Globes from when we were taking a snack break?

7. Receiving a Golden Globe

Everyone knows the Golden Globe is just the chubby, awkward younger brother to the Oscar that no one really wants.