“Pass the Gardettos,” you say? Is that what you want? Tell me, what IS a Gardetto?

Is it the rye chips? Is it the teeny tiny crunchy bread sticks? Is it the unsalted yet delicious pretzels?

No! A Gardetto is not any of those things! I have some news for you, bub!

A Gardetto is not a food. It is not a snack. It is not a plural noun. It is a name. Do not tell me to pass you the Gardettos. I won’t do it. Gardettos are not things.

Tell me to pass the “Gardetto’s Snack Mix” and then I will comply (but I do expect you to say “please,” there is such a thing as etiquette, you know). In fact, I would prefer if you said “Please pass the Gardetto’s Original Recipe Snack Mix” because then we have both politeness and specificity. There are no greater virtues in this world.

If the bag of Gardetto’s Snack Mix is another flavor, you should substitute that flavor for “Original Recipe.” For example, you might say, “Please pass the Gardetto’s Italian Recipe Snack Mix.” Or, “Please pass the Gardetto’s Reduced Fat Original Snack Mix.”

Did you know that the Gardetto family was a family of Wisconsin bakers, who later began producing a snack mix with their family’s unique blend of spices and seasonings? Pretty cool, right?

And did you know that Gardetto’s Snack Mix comes in other great flavors, like Italian Cheese Blend and Deli-Style Mustard Pretzel Mix?

To conclude, the WORST thing you can do when talking about “Gardetto’s Snack Mix” is to leave out the word “Gardetto’s.” Do NOT say “Pass the snack mix.” That would be a travesty.

Would someone please pass the Gardetto’s?

This story was sponsored by General Mills.