EVANSTON — This weekend, several high school students from the Midwest arrived at Northwestern University to hold mock United Nations meetings and discuss global issues. “We hoped to give these students a better understanding of the powers and responsibilities of the UN,” said Northwestern Model UN’s President, Andrew Tyson. Tyson added that it was a rousing success.

However, some students were upset by weekend’s proceedings. “We couldn’t get anything resolved,” commented Frank Wu, a student delegate from Deerfield. “I never realized other delegates could be such assholes. I just wanted to slap the delegate of China for constantly vetoing every one of my resolutions.”

Sarah Smith, a delegate from Mokena, noted, “When we finally agreed on an issue, I was so happy that I accomplished something. I was so excited that I called my friends back home, and they were so interested in our discussion on humanitarian aid in the Congo using Robert’s Rules of Order that they were absolutely speechless. They were so interested in what we had achieved; I felt like we’d made a real difference in the world.”

“I think the students got a good view of the great power and respect the actual United Nations commands,” remarked Tyson. “I hope these kids continue their pursuits into the exciting field of international relations. It’s just like Call of Duty, except without the guns.”