EVANSTON — With only days remaining until the election, presidential hopeful Mitt Romney stood outside Norris University Center and promised Northwestern students he would ensure Frontera Fresco opened before Election Day.

“I’m a businessman,” Romney said. “I know how create jobs in this country and I’ll do it here, with Frontera Fresco.”

“Construction jobs,” he added. “Do those count as manufacturing?”

Explaining the delays in construction, Sodexo claimed they had not realized students would be returning to school as early as October. Construction has further been delayed by the incredibly complex feats of engineering needed to turn the former restaurant space into a new restaurant space.

The delays have been especially problematic for tour guides, who have to justify why the ugly construction is loudly occurring in an already ugly building, according to anyone who is not blind.

“Due to advances in demographic targeting,” explained Romney aide Joseph Smith, “we are able to make localize messages to attract undecided, absentee voters ages 18-22 who live in swing states who like Mexican food and go to Northwestern.”

“It makes a big difference,” said Smith. “And it allows us to get out important messages that are vital to the health of this country, such as why Frontera Fresco has not opened yet.”