Area Guy Reminds People About Baseball Playoffs, Exorcised
LANSING, MI – In a month where NFL games, college football, and preseason basketball compete for the attention of autumn sports fans, area Guy Steve Parkson has reminded anyone who will listen to him that “baseball is still going on, guys.”
“Dudes,” said Parkson, checking MLB scores on his smartphone as his Guy buddies drank beer at a local bar, whose TVs were showing Sports That Were Not Baseball, “the Cardinals just pulled ahead of the Nationals…it looks like they’re going to the NLCS!”
When not even the bartender pretended to pay attention, Parkson cursed the Heavens and That Awkward Time Between When Football Starts And The World Series.
“Don’t you people get it!” Parkson raged. “The Cardinals were down by two runs in the ninth, they were down to their last out twice, and now they’re up by two! Don’t you find that the least bit interesting? This could determine the future, people! The future!”
Continuing to receive stares so blank his friends might as well have been cardboard cutouts, Parkson curled up in a fetal position and muttered, “Descalso. Descalso. Descalso.”
Area woman Chelsea Rivola, Parkson’s girlfriend, at this point became concerned that he was speaking in tongues, and called the nearest priest. She told The Flipside that the priest is still trying to exorcise the spirit from Parkson.
After That Awkward Time Between When Football Starts And The World Series ends, 3% of local area Guys are expected to join Parkson in remembering that it really is important which team can hit tiny leather balls with wooden clubs more consistently.