EVANSTON – Starting this year, any student who wants to go to the Lakefill for Dillo Day must show ID proving that they are Northwestern students, that they are 19 years of age or older, or they must be accompanied by an adult guest. Here are some of the heretofore overlooked ramifications of the ID policy.

The Good:
*No longer any need to ask that awkward do you even go here question
*Big Boi can use his big boy words
*Everyone can get some use out of their fake IDs that stopped working once the Keg beefed up security
*The party is so much cooler when it is exclusive and there are bouncers
*It can now be proven that bratty teenagers were the reason we couldn’t have nice things
*Townies get to learn how to sneak into things the old fashioned way
*It’s not exactly like there is a shortage of preppy New Trier Kids

The Bad:
*No concert is complete without a 14-year-old complaining they can’t see the stage
*The High Schoolers’ presence was actually just a cover to make it seem like there were fewer Northwestern students in the library
*Cold War Kids will not have any actual kids to perform for
*Loss of revenue from gullible teens buying “tickets”
*No more live bait for the Reel Big Fish
*Hipsters have fewer people to tell they liked Steve Aoki before he went mainstream
*There is no longer a chance to indoctrinate impressionable youths with the liberal brainwashing machine