EVANSTON – Rifle sales across the country have risen as the trend of adorning one’s head with feathers has soared to new heights of popularity. Even though most girls sport only what grows from their scalp, being unique is no longer as easy as buying a fake feather from hairfeathers.com. In fact, many girls are now putting real feathers in their hair. To be viewed as true trendsetters, girls are setting down their purses, picking up their rifles, and heading into forests across America to hunt ducks, hummingbirds, jays, and other creatures of the sky.

Julie Conner, a fashion-forward sophomore in Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences, recently went on a hunting expedition with three of her best friends. According to Conner, “The rarer the bird, the more social cred you get.” Conner went on to explain how she plans to reach out to the Northwestern community. “We are organizing a trip for NU women to the Amazon Rainforest for the upcoming winter quarter. Students will have the opportunity to kill rare birds and to bond as a group over being unique.” Conner is hoping to come back from South America with a bag full of parrots, toucans and woodpeckers. She is still unsure as to how to get past TSA.

This unexpected rise in sport hunting has animal rights groups such as PETA in an uproar. PETA recently published an article titled, “What’s Next, Wearing Live Birds?” After glancing at this article, Conner admitted that even PETA can have good ideas. She is in the midst of creating a leash to attach a live pigeon to her ear.

Due to the rise in popularity of hunting rifles on campus, Conner plans to design a bulletproof vest for her pigeon as well.