This article was written by an actual drunk man and left unedited for effect.

There are days in our lives when greatness is thrust upon us.  There are also days wehere we drink a shit ton of alcohol and have fun  Guess which one dillo day is?  Hint I uncle jose cuerva making a visit.  So today is chill and all with all the bands.  The new pornographers were surprisingly clothed.  I mean can you pronographize (the verb of pornography) with clothes on? I don’t care if you’re playing music follow your name.

So many people I;ve never heard of before.  Guess im not hipster enough.  PB and J sounds ike a sandwhich, but no my friend Tony was like these gusy are all the rage man you just don’t know whats up.  What’s up?  Probably airplanes and shit that hits me in the face like pigeon crap.  Chiddy Bang Really?  i mean i know names are hard to come by but chitty bang just call yourself alladin or beauty and the beast if youre gonna rip on disney.  Speaking of which Disney Pandora station = amazing with a caputal fuck yeah.  BOB was pretty good.  I think.  To be honest i was looking for my left shoe mot of the time so i wasn’t paying much attention to him.

Kill the nOise and NASA.  When the fuck did governmental space organizations tart making music, next thing you know the Housing of urban development gonna have a band be like dont fuck with us fools we the tops of charts!  But seriously ridiculous names.

 

Im going to go pass out now.  Hope you all enjoyed your dillo day, remember to spay and neuter your armadillo to prevent them from over running evanston.  We wouldnt want our grumpy evanston neighbors complaining about that too.

 

Peace,

Me