I was walking down the street this afternoon when I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a puddle of water. Something seemed a little off– My coat. Even though it was on. As in I was wearing it, and it was not off. But it seemed off. Does it look bad on me?

It’s a plaid coat. I’m told plaid is in style, and that it brings out my hazel eyes. Is this true?

It has a poofy fur collar that matches my hair. The fur is light brown, just like my hair. That’s good, right?

Every time people pass me on the street, they smile. I assume they smile because I look so good. But is it because the coat doesn’t look good on me? Tell me the truth, please. I’m a man. I can take it.

I admit that the zipper on my coat is broken. It only zips up half way. So when I have my bright yellow scarf all spread out trying to protect me from the wind, that might look a little silly. Should I get a new scarf?

So my question for you is this: does this coat look good on me? Or does it look bad on me? What I think I am really asking is, will you buy me a new coat?