Wednesday, ASG President Claire Lew announced that they were changing something about something they do once more, sending waves of apathy through Northwestern.

“Wait, exactly what again does ASG do?” said sophomore Mark Raynor, in response to the complete overhaul or structural reform or whatever the hell they decided to make different.

Lew says this will completely revitalize/rejuvenate/switch how the organization will handle/delegate/petition students/faculty/Evanston citizens.

“Northwestern blah blah blah connection blah blah relationship blah blah blah,” she said in a prepared statement Monday.

This will mean that something will vaguely change in the organization that will completely fail to impact the student body.