EVANSTON—Northwestern University has a long tradition of great journalism. The Daily Northwestern and North by Northwestern are models of professionalism and journalistic excellence. Yet there is one publication that is an embarrassment to the Northwestern community, journalism, paper, its staff, and their mothers: The Northwestern Flipside.

To be blunt, The Flipside is a joke. The writing is a shameless mockery of the journalistic style that we as Northwestern students have come to expect. It’s like a bunch of people just sit around and come up with bullshit ideas and then turn them loose on the university disguised as relevant news. Never once has The Flipside provided an accurate and unbiased account of the news, nor has its editorial staff provided meaningful and well-reasoned opinions on today’s pressing issues.

Claims that NU tour guides are unreliable and that those who try to go home are re-educated in the sub-basements of Tech are so clearly fictional that they would be amusing if they weren’t so embarrassing. Not once has The Flipside interviewed a real person, unless there is someone named Area Man who carries a grudge against good journalism. Entire issues of The Flipside are so frivolous as to make Anderson Cooper weep. Medill F, Northwestern Flipside. Medill F.

This article is not satirical, it’s factual. April Fool’s!