ICED OUT, the newest novel by New York Times Best Selling Author Phoebe Horn, is expected to hit shelves across the nation later this week.
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Latest in Local
Flipside attendance skyrockets after Timothee Chalamet says “no one cares about The Northwestern Flipside anymore”
At its most recent meeting, the Northwestern Flipside had record attendance. Hundreds of students crammed into Kresge 2415,
Breaking: Scorned Chicagoans Contemplate Releasing Lil Durk from Prison to Kill Matthew Stafford
Gardening 101: How to Avoid Common mistakes like Growing Rhododendrons in Alkaline Soil, Planting Bulbs Too Early, and Getting an Entire Gnome Lodged in your Rectum
From the archives: “Is that a gun or are you just happy to see me? Both! History’s most sexually-charged assassinations”
Flipside attendance skyrockets after Timothee Chalamet says “no one cares about The Northwestern Flipside anymore”
At its most recent meeting, the Northwestern Flipside had record attendance. Hundreds of students crammed into Kresge 2415,
Breaking: Scorned Chicagoans Contemplate Releasing Lil Durk from Prison to Kill Matthew Stafford
Gardening 101: How to Avoid Common mistakes like Growing Rhododendrons in Alkaline Soil, Planting Bulbs Too Early, and Getting an Entire Gnome Lodged in your Rectum
From the archives: “Is that a gun or are you just happy to see me? Both! History’s most sexually-charged assassinations”
Latest in Opinion
Op-Ed: Why a Good Serving of Rocks Should Be a Part of Every Healthy Meal
In our current day and age, America is facing health problems that do not have simple solutions. Everywhere you look, health and fitness gurus claim to have found the optimal diet for your health. Well, I’m here to tell you not to listen to any of them. Listen to me. Eat rocks.
Op-Ed: Why a Good Serving of Rocks Should Be a Part of Every Healthy Meal
In our current day and age, America is facing health problems that do not have simple solutions. Everywhere you look, health and fitness gurus claim to have found the optimal diet for your health. Well, I’m here to tell you not to listen to any of them. Listen to me. Eat rocks.
Latest in Ask Flippy
Ask Flippy: What is the best ratio of razor blades to candy to give to trick or treaters?
Buy as many razor blades as candy (hypodermic needles work too) and place them inside the candy. Snickers are my favorite, but other similar candies are acceptable. It helps to build a reputation as “the Snickers house” so kids come back.
Ask Flippy: What is the best ratio of razor blades to candy to give to trick or treaters?
Buy as many razor blades as candy (hypodermic needles work too) and place them inside the candy. Snickers are my favorite, but other similar candies are acceptable. It helps to build a reputation as “the Snickers house” so kids come back.
Latest in Entertainment
Breaking: “We Are Charlie Kirk” To Be Featured on Just Dance 2027
Definitely-not-AI-generated hit song “We Are Charlie Kirk” by celebrated artist Spalexma will be featured on the 2027 edition of popular video game Just Dance.
Millions Realized They Were Deceivemaxxed As Clavicular Forced To Gymcopemax After Being Auramogged While Benchpressing, Cortisol Spiked After Framemogg Nuked By Gymratmoids
Booktok’s New Sensation, A Forbidden Romance Between A 6’4 Reformed Playboy ICE Agent And The 4’11 Mixed-Race Honduran Maid He’s Deporting Hits Shelves This Week
Gardening 101: How to Avoid Common mistakes like Growing Rhododendrons in Alkaline Soil, Planting Bulbs Too Early, and Getting an Entire Gnome Lodged in your Rectum
Breaking: “We Are Charlie Kirk” To Be Featured on Just Dance 2027
Definitely-not-AI-generated hit song “We Are Charlie Kirk” by celebrated artist Spalexma will be featured on the 2027 edition of popular video game Just Dance.
Millions Realized They Were Deceivemaxxed As Clavicular Forced To Gymcopemax After Being Auramogged While Benchpressing, Cortisol Spiked After Framemogg Nuked By Gymratmoids
Booktok’s New Sensation, A Forbidden Romance Between A 6’4 Reformed Playboy ICE Agent And The 4’11 Mixed-Race Honduran Maid He’s Deporting Hits Shelves This Week
Gardening 101: How to Avoid Common mistakes like Growing Rhododendrons in Alkaline Soil, Planting Bulbs Too Early, and Getting an Entire Gnome Lodged in your Rectum
Covid-conscious Lesbian Bar Set to Open in Norris Soon; Does not Accept Meal Exchanges
Last Ditch will replace Luna’s Pub and Grill as another overpriced option serving students who are comfortable spending half their quarterly dining dollars for one meal. Last Ditch offers more than just food, though—it offers an experience. In addition to safe-sex vending machines, Last Ditch is part of Northwestern’s goal to help students have safe sexual experiences– or, as they repeatedly told the Freshmen, “good fucking sex.”Â
Grandma Asks for the Fiftieth time what Grok is and why it Keeps Showing Her Porn.Â
Johnson tried to help his grandma turn off the porn function of the chatbot, but as he walked through the steps with his aging family member, she kept receiving an error message, claiming that “Elon Musk forbids this action.”Â
NHL Draft Takes Father’s Precedence Over Son’s First Call Home in a Month
Now enter the local Wildcat’s dad. Who has the goddamn nerve to call the house on a Tuesday night? His son!
Mung Chiang Ranks as “Second-Best Chiang Considered for Northwestern President” (Kai-shek)
Similarly to how the Heavenly Sovereign Schill was only the 18th pick to run Northwestern, Mung Chiang was seemingly not the board’s first pick this time either. In fact, another famous Chiang was the preferred option. Who was that Chiang? None other than Kai-Shek.