That Gelatinous Cranberry Sauce Is Ribbed For HIS Pleasure

It’s not just that he doesn’t care, it’s that he can’t care. How can he be thinking about whatever you two are this Thanksgiving when we all know that come turkey time, there’s only one thing on a guys mind – getting to feel every rib, bump, lump, jiggle and wiggle of that mysteriously gelatinous cranberry sauce with sensory spots he didn’t even know existed.

Op-Ed: I think we should bring back the guillotine

Wood frame, metal blade, disgruntled French hangman. Back in the days of the French Revolution, these were the three things you needed to kill someone, all compiled into one machine: the guillotine. But the extinction of the guillotine isn’t just about the advancement of weaponry; it is clearly indicative of a more serious problem in society: people these days don’t support blue-collar jobs, and so we need to bring back the guillotine. In the time of the guillotine, killing someone